Crush

Ahem ahem so i have a crush on someone. It is so nice to have this tickling feeling. Butterflies in the pit of my stomach *blushing*...waiting for his messages..thinking about him most of the time knowing that nothing is going to happen between us still first time in life m enjoying something so uncertain. 

I have changed a lot...I used to be so certain about things before beginning anything whether it would be a relationship or a career or anything for that matter so that i wont hurt myself in future. 

  But now here i am knowing that nothing is going to happen still allowing myself to blush, to think about him,.let the feelings captures my mind and heart. 

After all what i have learnt in life is you can't plan everything especially relationships are not meant to be planned. They just happen and one should not crush the possibility of having a miracle may be in future someday. 

I am so happy today..reason not only my crush but also the new dress which i wore yesterday in office party and got so many compliments *giggling*

Sometimes it feels good to be happy for small things whether its a crush or a new dress. What matters is To Smile :)

#Happyme

I wrote something in my message box as a draft while i was missing my crush ;) 

I want to say a lot
But would you like to listen
I doubt..
You seems so perfect to me
I wonder whether it is crush or attraction
My heart is beating at a faster pace
Moments spent with you has spell a magic
You think I was getting bored with you..
Actually i was holding myself not to fall in love with you.
I am feeling so dumb
It's a mixed feeling that I can't even express
I am missing you who can make me feel so good
But I can't say anything bcz it may be an attraction... 

I Quit

I can't take it further.

Life at 25

My life at 25 is pretty amazing if you see from another person's perspective. 

I have a job. I am living on my own. I can go anywhere i want. I can wear any dress i wish to. I can be friend with anyone. I am not dependent on my parents anymore. 

But to me, my life is incomplete because it couldn't fulfill the aim which i saw (-Being Chartered Accountant). It did not have the lover by my side whom i really love(-My Prince). My job pays me just enough to survive not more than that (i can't buy expensive brands).   

Still I am very thankful to God that he showered his blessings on me and gave me whatever i have. I want to thank God for each and everything. I have my faith in his plans and i know my life will get better with each passing day. Thank You Almighty :)

I want to write

I want to write...I want to write a lot. I want to write each and every feeling that i am going through. I want to write which i can't say to anyone in this world. I want to tell you my dear blog that i feel helpless at times. I feel like i am the most selfish girl on this planet. I feel like i am the reason behind his failure. I feel pathetic. I feel so unlucky sometimes that i can't even describe. Sometimes i don't feel like talking to anyone and i just want to be myself. 
I smile, i laugh but nobody knows what i am going through. I am fighting with myself. I am fighting with the thought that i have spoiled someone's life. I want to make him happy. I want to make him feel loved. I love him. I really love him a lot. But i don't know what should i do and how should i do? This long distance relationship sucks with no hope of being together. Not being able to love him sucks. Words can express the way how i feel but distance kills it. An eye contact on skype gives some relief but the feeling of holding hand is missing. It's an another awkward phase of my life. Where i love him but i can't get him. I have no idea what future holds but i want to be with him like always...always. I wish if i could spend every night hugging him and kissing him. Nights are the best to express love. 
I am here again and wish to get some answers of my questions. I just wish to love him forever.